


Just A Favor

by ravesinthesky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brothers, First Dates, M/M, Twins, johndave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 03:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravesinthesky/pseuds/ravesinthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a stupid idea. No scratch that… this was the most ridiculously stupid idea in the history of stupid ideas. If there was a contest for fucking stupid ass ideas, this idea won by a landslide. - A one shot I'm proud of</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Favor

This was a stupid idea. No scratch that… this was the most ridiculously stupid idea in the history of stupid ideas. If there was a contest for fucking stupid ass ideas, this idea won by a landslide. 

Ok, you admit at first it didn’t seem so completely out of the question. In fact, you could even say that at first it sounded like a pretty good idea. You had seen it been done on TV, you know.. those types of shows. Those godawful melodramatic rom coms that you may have watched on occasion (only of course if absolutely nothing else interesting was on). You both knew with the proper amount of luck and a whole shit load of magic pixie dust, you could just maybe pull this off. 

So grudgingly, you agreed to pull off the miraculous stunt as a favor to your bro. Besides, you sorta owed him for forking over some cold hard cash when you needed to pay for the damage you accidentally dealt to your older brother’s laptop. How were you supposed to know that the seemingly innocent link to Puppet Erotica would contain a wicked nasty virus??? We just don’t know. 

Luckily Dave handed over the cash and made you triple pinky swear that someday, some how, you’d owe him big time. That day, that how, that was happening right now by the way. 

You still didn’t know what the big deal was, or why your brother was making the whole thing into such a huge federal fucking issue. Seriously though, you had seen the guy before, and you’d beg to differ to anybody who tried to claim he was scary or intimidating. But Dave insisted that you just didn’t understand the true horror of suddenly finding yourself invited out on a real actual date with your real actual best friend. Nope, the fact of the matter was you really didn’t understand your brother’s deal. Wasn’t this what he had been literally begging on hands and knees, for at every fucking chance? Make a wish upon a star and all that shit? 

You just didn’t understand he told you. You blame his anxiety ridden self esteem, because man when Dave had come to you in a flurry of twitching terror, his poor little feathers all rustled, for a moment there you would have thought somebody had snatched up your twin and replaced him with this totally unidentifiable mass of nerves and blond hair. He babbled on about getting a bit too close to comfort with his long time bro and accidentally letting his more than bro like affections slip. You were totally prepared to pull him into an appropriately awkward sibling hug and wish him “better luck next time, champ.” Complete with a playful punch to the shoulder and all. Real ironic humor, the good stuff.

But what you weren’t prepared for was the story taking a ‘dramatic twist’ and well… spoiler alert: turns out your brother’s go to guy wasn’t all that against the idea of trying to, pardon your choice of words, kindle a flame of passion out of the smoldering embers of best bromanship. You tried to congratulate Dave, but he just wouldn’t stop going on about how nervous he was, and how “oh god Dirk, I can’t do this! Seriously I can’t! Oh god what was I thinking… Jesus Christ we’re going to dinner next week! Fuck me, Dirk… Seriously what the hell???”

You guess you’re partly to blame for this whole fucking extravaganza. But for the record, you’d like to point out that Dave’s the one who started up with the “you’re so much better at this than I am” and the “Fucking christ why can’t you just do this for me oh god”. And how you assured him that if you could, you totally would, but alas he had gotten himself into this, and there was no way you’d bail him out of something like this. 

“But I want to go,” he whined. “Seriously I do! I want this! It’s just… Oh God like what do I say to him? ‘Hey John! Nice looking suit you got there. Really compliments your eyes. Did I mention I used to get boners when we had those sleepovers? Anyway, why don’t you try the Parmesan chicken tonight? I’ve heard it’s pretty fucking splendid’.”

But you are the one who said you’d gladly take his place to get him to shut the fuck up about his fucking date already and leave you alone. Because at that moment you had no idea he was about to spring that favor you owed him on you like you were a grizzly bear trapped by the fucking death metal munchy mouth of a fucking bear trap. The bear trap of shitty favors. 

He said the whole plan would work, without a doubt it would work. Because oh yeah just because Dave saw it on public television, it just had to work you know? But you agreed to go through with it at all, so when you boil right down to it, this whole thing really is your fault. You were pretty sure it’d work to. Your twin brother and you are practically identical in every way anyway, by appearance and general mannerisms, so why wouldn’t it work? All you had to do was pop on a pair of your brother’s lame glasses so Egbert wouldn’t be able to distinguish red from orange, and voila! You were golden. 

Of course being the absolute dumbasses you are, you both completely disregarded the fact that your bro and his buddy John had been friends for approaching five or so years. And you had barely said five or so words to the guy at all.  
But you’d cross that bridge when you came to it. 

You pick at the edges of the table cloth and pull a stray strand away from the fabric. Such a terrible idea. Best brother, worst idea. You immediately sit up and stiffen as John comes back from the restroom. He wipes wet hands on his ass creating a slightly dampened stain on the slacks, and slumps back down into the wicker chair.

“Hey yeah sorry, dude. Had to pee,” he grins at you hopefully, and you just nod. 

Shit this is not going the way you planned. 

He stares at you now, as if respecting a reply, so you mumble, “Eh, it’s cool, bro,” in his general direction as you sweep back your bangs. Stupid ass bangs. There’s a reason why you gel them back in the first place, but for you to imitate the ‘cool guy’ style Dave claims to have, you had to ditch the gel and go all ‘natural’.

This apparently is enough to satisfy him, so he pulls back a bit and fiddles with the straw of his water. After a moment, he fishes out the lemon with two fingers and pops it into his mouth. “Hey Dave. Look at me,” he giggles and flashes you a grin, but all you could see was the textured yellow surface of lemon. “I’m a lemon mouth!”

You stifle a smile. “Lemon mouth? What the fuck’s a lemon mouth.”

He opens his jaws and lets the offensive fruit tumble back down to the table cloth with a wet smack, leaving a thin strand of spit stretching from the lemons surface to the corner of John’s mouth. “It’s what you are!” he shoots back with another one of those huge, dorky yet oddly endearing, smiles.

You shrug, then remind yourself to be more… Dave-like. “Oh real clever, Egbert. I’m just fucking applauding at the absolute originality of that outstanding joke. You should win an award for that shit, man.”

He flutters his eyelashes at you, and you can’t help but admire him for playing up the ironic first date scenario. Maybe this guy isn’t as bad as you were originally lead to believe. “Oh really? What’s my award then, Dave?”

“Come over here, and I’ll tell you…” you whisper quietly, and he leans forward expectantly. You surprise him by landing a quick peck to the tip of his nose with your lips, and he jerks backwards completely red in the face. 

He’s blushing, that’s for sure, but he doesn’t look to upset by your sudden outward approach of affection. You had been tiptoeing around the whole romantic part this date entirely, seeing if the Egbert kid would act first, but after an hour of half assed awkward small talk and lame jokes, you decided it was about time you got this shit on the road. Pumping up the romance factor by a hundred percent. Gonna lay down some smooth moves, Strider style. Gonna make this guy swoon for Dave. 

Speaking of Dave, you don’t think John has the facade figured out, but you can never be too careful. You’ve been sure to keep on your sunglasses the whole dinner even with John’s constant “Oh come on you’re even gonna wear those gay butt things on our first date? Seriously? How so not gentlemanly of you, dude.”

As the night progresses, you become more and more drawn to this kid. This John kid. There’s something just so… charming about him. He’s a dork, that’s for sure, but he seems to be pretty interested in what you have to say, always staring you down with those huge ass eye’s of his and giggling at all the best parts of your stories. You have to keep reminding yourself that, no you are not lonely Dirk Strider, but super cool Dave Strider best friends with this adorable guy right in front of you.

As the night progresses, you totally don’t start thinking about how badly you wish you actually were just Dirk Strider sitting there have a flirty conversation with the black haired beauty right in front of you. Well, not quiet a beauty. But what with his tousled dark hair and lopsided grin, you could definitely see why Dave was into him. He was totally you guy’s type. 

You liked the way his deep blue eyes glittered underneath slender framed glasses every time he laughed at one of your stupid jokes or comments. 

You wouldn’t like to admit that when your check finally came, and the time for departure was upon you two, you silently wished you could maybe do this again some time. Go on a second date perhaps. He seemed to have a lot of fun from how many times he laughed and let you lightly hold his hand during dessert. But then you realize that yeah, he did have fun. With Dave. And your good spirits lower significantly. But there’s still some hopeful part of you that clings to the notion that maybe, just maybe, all those laughs were genuinely and he did really think you, Dirk Strider, were a hilarious all around good looking guy.

When you finally pull up in front of his house, the outside’s dark and a single street light hangs above your car casting a soft light inside. The dim shadows dance across grey leather and flicker across the absolutely lovely expression on John’s face.

“So… that was fun?” His tone is questioning.

“Oh yeah totally. Let’s do it again sometime.” Your’s is a bit too eager you decide, and you tone it done a bit. “I mean… if you want.”

His expression brightens. “Yeah of course! Definitely…” He trails of and looks a little shy, and you wonder what was… going through his… his mind… oh. Oh. You believe you know what’s going through that mind of his. 

Slowly, not as if you were savoring it or anything, you stretch across your seat and twist your body around so you can reach him better. He yields and presses his body to yours and allows you to wrap one arm around his waist. He chews his bottom lip (and yes it is adorable by the way) and looks at you expectantly. God damn it… what was with this kid and letting you take the reins of this relationship! 

“Fuck it…” you grumble and mash your lips to his. In a sudden flurry of red faces and a tangle of limbs, next minute you know John has climbed, well practically launched himself, entirely out of his seat and into yours. More importantly, straight into your lap. Lips still squished together, he positions himself directly between your thighs and straddles you, his arms flailing not really knowing where to go and his tongue flapping uselessly.

He’s enthusiastic to say the least, hands coming up to brush through your hair, then down to stroke your arms, then back up to cup your face. His legs twitch between yours, and you can feel his feet bouncing against your shin, and he’s very clearly nervous, so you make him stay still by placing a firm grip on his hips and forcing him down. You brush his jutting hipbone with the pad of your thumb for added effect, and Jesus Christ this kid is tiny. He’s not even scrawny or skinny or anything, actually to be honest he’s got a nice bit of plumpness to him especially in the ass department, but God he’s just small. His entire body fits snuggly on top of you, and the way he leans his weight into you, making you feel ten times stronger, is actually pretty damn awesome.

He wiggles some more as you snake the arm not currently groping his hips around his neck to pull him closer to you. You lap at his lips, sucking at the bottom one until he starts to pant, then take the opportunity to swipe your tongue inside and explore. He’s now got a steady grip on you, one hand dipped under your pants and clamped tightly down on your hip with a vice like grasp, his slender fingers digging into the flesh. And the other hand squashed between your chests as you press against him. Hesitantly, you start to roll your hips, and he quietly picks up the pace until your both making soft noises against each other’s lips. He opts to pull away though and mouth at your neck like a damn puppy or something, slobbering all over your throat. You hold tightly onto his hips, bouncing him in your lap and pulling him back down to meet you, and you don’t think you’ve had this much stimulation in well… ever. He’s moving his mouth against you skin while babbling incoherent words and panting soft, hot breaths into your collar bone. 

“Yes… wow yes… Just like that, Dirk…” 

You whimper and feel release course through your veins like hot molten lava. White blinds your vision as you feel him shudder and go limp in you arms. Holding him tightly to you, he lets you nuzzle his hair and stroke his arms.   
It never even occurs to you what he had murmured in that moment of guiltless passion.

Climbing out of the car, he ruffles his hair a bit and adjusts his cloths. Staring into your eyes, he leans down to give you one last quick peck to the cheek. You watch, with an absolutely ridiculously dopey grin on your face, as he wanders up his yard, almost crashing into a tree with a giggle, and tumbling inside his house with a wave goodbye to you. 

You drive home wordlessly, bare eyes on the road, and feeling better than you ever had before. Dave’s eyebrows shoot up off his face, through the roof, and out into outer space when he sees your smile as you come strutting into your living room.

“How was it…?” he inquires, sounding a little bit nervous. 

Yo brush him off with a wave of you arm, trying to fight down the raging smile that wants to wreak havoc on your face. “Oh you know. Ok, I guess. You guys are definitely on for a follow up date though.”

His face lights up, and he gives you a rather enthusiastic bro fist and a thumbs up couple with a “Wow thanks man!”

That night, you lay down to bed dreaming about the nights previous events one by one, savoring the memory of each little look he gave you and all his laughs and of course, the finish to the night.

Well you drift off to sleep, Dave’s shades you had worn throughout the date still lay abandoned in your car, thrown to the side and wedged in a cup holder, where John stuck them after tearing them off your face in the heated bliss of the moment.


End file.
